At Second Glance
by GohanRules
Summary: An unexpected twist of events send Logan and Kendall spiraling into a world of longing. How could they continue to live when the other was their reason for living? Can this be fixed, or are they to remain forever apart and lonely?
1. Broken Trust

**Author's Note: **Yay! I am extremely excited about this. It's my first BTR fic…and it's Kogan! Yay! Those of you who don't like this pairing, I love Cargan just as much and Kames is a close second. So the moral of the story is that you should expect more. If you have a specific pairing you want me to write, just tell me in a review and I might decide to write it for you. This was originally going to be a long ass one-shot, but that's just but that's just not my style. Now it's going to be a short chaptered story. Well, I hope you guys enjoy and welcome me to the BTR universe.

**Warnings: **Language, M/M relationship, and most likely some adult content in future chapters.

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned BTR so badly….I love all of them so much!

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><p>"No Kendall! This time I fucking saw you! You're such a fucking liar!" Logan yelled right before he slammed the door to apartment 2J closed. His gait was large and quick as he headed towards his and Kendall's shared bedroom. Said blond opened the door, a face of pure hurt on his face. He looked at the brunet's retreating figure with panic and ran after him. The blond caught up to Logan and pulled his shoulder, affectively turning him around to face him.<p>

"Logan it wasn't like that! Nothing happened!" Kendall yelled. Logan's eyes hardened as he stared Kendall down.

"Nothing? Do you seriously expect me to believe you when I saw you with my own eyes?"

Kendall flinched at the brunet's hateful tone and lowered his gaze to the floor. He clenched his fists tight as he fought the urge to cry in front of Logan. He never allowed himself to show weakness in front of anyone. Not even his mother had seen him cry since he was eight. Try as he may, the self proclaimed leader of Big Time Rush couldn't deny the pain that accumulated deep inside his chest. His shoulders began to quiver violently as he felt an unfamiliar sting in his eyes. As he looked down at his shoes, the teen could see small droplets of water diving down and crashing into the wooden floor. He confusedly brought a hand to touch his cheek and gasped when he felt the moisture.

Logan stood still, waiting for a reaction from the blond. He felt terrible for being the one to bring so much pain to Kendall. The brunet wanted nothing more than to just tightly wrap his arms around the other. To see those beautiful hazel green eyes brighten up with the usual caring confidence found in them. Most of all, Logan wanted nothing more than to just place a soft kiss to the blond's lips and whisper sweet nothings in his ear until all the pain that he had caused was washed away.

But Logan couldn't do that. He had been hurt too. He was in love with the blond in front of him, and up until now, he thought his feelings were reciprocated. Now he knew better. The genius had been noticing his boyfriend acting differently lately. It seemed like they hardly ever got to spend time together over the past few weeks. Whenever Logan wanted to go out, Kendall would just come up with an excuse to not have to go. The blond would sometimes go out with James or Carlos, but every time the brunet asked if he could tag along, another excuse would pop up.

"_Oh don't worry about it baby, we'll be back soon."_

"_Actually, why don't you stay here? We're just going to get a few things."_

"_You probably wouldn't have any fun."_

It was always the fucking same. The intellectual teen had once confronted Kendall about it, but the blond had just chuckled and waved it off saying it was all in the brunet's head. Logan was skeptical, but he pushed it away to the back of his head, telling himself that it probably wasn't that serious. That was two weeks ago. Today, the brunet had come up to his boyfriend and asked him out to a date. It seemed like forever since they had gone out to one, so the shorter teen was excited. Unsurprising, Kendall had apologized to Logan, saying he couldn't go because Gustavo wanted him to record a solo part he had in one of their new songs. Logan's face had dropped with disappointment as he mumbled a soft "oh", but nodded and accepted the excuse. They kissed goodbye before Kendall left for the studio. Later, Logan had come up with the conclusion that just because he couldn't have fun with Kendall, didn't mean he couldn't have fun with himself. In a matter of minutes, he grabbed his car keys and headed out to the mall. He had the most fun he'd had in a long time as he shopped as if his life depended on it. He bought himself some designer sunglasses. Even when having such a good time, he still thought of his friends. He had bought a deluxe pack of Cuda products for James, several childish toys for Carlos, and even a new hockey stick for Kendall (he had been complaining that his old one was getting too worn for a while now). As the brunet walked towards the food court, carrying his own weight in bags, he couldn't help but notice a familiar head of blonde hair sitting at one of the tables by the small ice cream stand. He strained his eyes to see who it was and beamed when he figured out it was none other than Kendall. He ran up to the blond, ready to ask a barrage of questions on why he was here instead of the studios. As he got closer, Kendall finally noticed him coming up to him and his expression changed drastically to one of pure worry. He looked from the brunet to the person sitting in front of him. Logan turned his gaze as well and his face changed into one showing solely anger as he just noticed who it was _his _boyfriend was having dinner with.

"Uh…hi Logan," Jo had waved awkwardly, her tone clearly displaying how much she didn't want to be here.

"Logie, this isn't-,"

"This? This is why you've been ignoring me for weeks?" Logan yelled angrily as he pointed to the blonde girl in front of him. Kendall stood and put his arms up reaching for Logan, but the had brunet brushed away the contact as he dropped all the bags to the floor.

"Logie, please. Let me expla-,"

"No! Fuck you! I can't believe you'd do this to me!" the brunet interrupted again. Kendall had stayed quiet this time as Jo quickly rose to her feet.

"Logan, you have to calm down. You're making a scene," she told him. Logan looked at her as if he wanted to hit her, but he had just enough sense left to hold back. Instead, he looked at Kendall one more before running off without his bags. Kendall had soon ran after him.

And now they found themselves back in the apartment face to face. It was silent, the only sound being heard were the soft sniffles coming from Kendall as he avoided Logan's gaze. After several minutes of calm, the blond finally forced himself to look up. He gasped slightly as he saw Logan barely holding back tears as he wore a far off look on his face. Without thinking, the blond tightly wrapped his arms around the other. The action instantly brought Logan back to reality as he brought his hands between their bodies and pushed the other off him forcefully. Kendall, not expecting it, tripped over his own feet and landed on the floor harshly.

"Don't touch me! Don't you ever fucking touch me!" Logan yelled as he turned on his heel, ran to their shared room and locked the door behind him. Kendall stayed there on the floor, staring at the door with a shocked expression. He couldn't believe what had just happened. Logan just pushed him down. As the quiet once again began to overcome the room, he lied down on the hard floor and began to sob uncontrollably. Logan was the only thing keeping him together. Without him, Kendall would fall apart at the seams.

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><p>James and Carlos walked into apartment 2J, filling it with laughter due to a fun day at the Palms Woods pool. They were both in their bathing suits with flip flops on as they held soaked towels over their shoulders. It was late at night, somewhere around ten, but it wasn't late enough that anyone would be asleep already. Once their laughs settled down, they finally noticed the absence of light in the apartment. James raised an eyebrow as he blindly reached for the light switch on the wall next to him. The two looked around curiously, wondering where everyone was. They slowly made their way down the hallway. As they neared the living room, the two's faces became more worried as they heard slight whimpering. As they reached the living room, their eyes widened and mouths gaped at what they saw. There, in front, of the couch was Kendall. The blond was on the floor in a fetal position as his body shook slightly. Carlos and James immediately ran up to the teen and dropped down on their knees in front of him. His face was puffy and his eyes were bloodshot. Tears were continuously streaking down his cheeks as he stared off into space.<p>

"Kendall what happened?" Carlos asked frantically. The blond remained quiet, making no move to indicate he was even aware of the others' presence. James reached out and shook the blond's shoulder lightly.

"Dude, come on. You're scaring us," the brunet stated, still no answer from the blond. The two exchanged worried looks then glanced back down at the sad figure.

"Where's Logan? Did something happen to Logan?"

This question proved worthy of a response as the blond whimpered quietly. It was loud enough for the other two to barely register its existence. Their faces became confused at the sound.

"Logan? It's about Logan? Kendall you have to say something," James asked. The tall teen was about to freak out if he didn't find out what happened soon. Kendall's eyes refocused as they lost their far-off look. The blonde let out an agonized sob and covered his face with his arm to hide the tears that began falling twice as fast.

"He broke up with me," he murmured from behind his sleeve. James and Carlos' eyes widened at the confession. They couldn't believe it. Kendall and Logan have been together for a couple years. This was the last thing anyone _ever _saw coming. Those two were more in love with each other as one could possibly get.

They exchanged glances once more, using their eyes to silently converse with each other. Carlos stood up with a sigh as he walked away. James remained by the still sobbing Kendall as he rubbed his back soothingly. The Latino walked over to the door to Kendall and Logan's room. He lightly rasped on it and waited for a reply from the other side. Sure enough, after a few seconds, Logan swung open the door. The smart teen was looking at Carlos with watery eyes. His hair was messed up, and the marks of tear streaks were present on his face. Carlos walked into the room and closed the door behind him without another word. As soon as the room was secure, Logan pulled Carlos into a tight embrace as he sobbed into the Hispanic's shoulder. Carlos' face became saddened as he brought his strong arms around his friend and rubbed his back in relaxing circles.

"It's alright Logan. You have to tell me what happened. James and I are really worried. We came back from the pool and saw Kendall on the floor sobbing, and Kendall _never _cries," Carlos whispered softly into the other's ears. The Hispanic boy could feel the other's hold on him become tighter as he spoke about the troubled blond.

"Don't…" Logan whimpered through the cloth of Carlos' shoulder. The shorter teen was confused and pulled the brunet away from him slightly. They were now face to face. Carlos was desperately trying to catch the brunet's eye, but Logan refused to make eye contact. Carlos sighed as he gently shook Logan.

"Logan, what do you mean by "Don't"?" Logan clenched his eyes closed tightly. Hot, salty tears escaped though his eyelids as his body shook. His legs gave in and Carlos had to gently come down with the brunet so that they were both on the floor on their knees.

"Please don't tell him about this."

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><p>Hours later, Carlos was slowly walking out of Kendall and Logan's shared room. He gently shut the door behind him as he released a frustrated sigh. He walked to the kitchen in search for something to eat. There, he saw James eating a bowl of cereal while leaning on the counter. The Latino walked up to him with a raised eyebrow.<p>

"Where's Kendall?" James munched the cereal and swallowed the contents in his mouth before responding.

"Sleeping. He wouldn't let me take him to his room, so I put him to sleep on my bed," he said before bringing another spoonful of the sugary breakfast food to his lips. Carlos shook his head and walked over to the fridge.

"Did he tell you anything about what happened?" the short teen asked as he grabbed a hot pocket and walked over to the microwave. He set up the timer for two minutes and waited for the snack to heat up.

"No. All he said is that he ruined everything. Then he kept mumbling to himself saying sorry about something. What about Logan?" James asked. He finished his bowl of cereal and walked over to the sink to place the dirty dish inside.

"He wouldn't tell me anything either. He ended up crying himself to sleep."

The brunet nodded at the new information, even though it wasn't very helpful. He looked down, trying to arrange all that he knew into something that made sense.

"You don't think Kendall…"

"No."

"You're right. He loves Logan. I don't know what I was thinking," James said. He felt bad for thinking that the blond would be capable of such a thing. Carlos nodded his head at him. The annoying sound of the microwave went off, making the two jump slightly.

"Ooh! My hot pocket!"

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><p><strong>Yay! There it is. I already have some of chapter 2 written, so I hope you like it. There will be a lot of drama, a little angst, a little humor, and of course, my specialty, some cuteness lol. Please leave me a review. Reviews make me happy!<strong>

**-Gohanrules out!**


	2. Difficult Conclusions

**Author's Note: **Sorry this took a little longer than I expected. I was planning on having this chapter up yesterday for CheekyBrunnette, but I haven't been able to get on my computer for the last couple days. Regardless, here is chapter two. I hope you guys enjoy it. Sorry for any typos. I as rushing to get this up, but I'll edit it tomorrow when I re-read it.

**Warnings: **I'm too lazy, so just look at chapter one for the warnings.

**Disclaimer: **I wish I did own Big Time Rush, but sadly...I don't. Big surprise!

"Ow! My back!" Carlos groaned as he turned over so he was lying on his stomach. He clenched his teeth at the discomfort he was feeling. He had spent the night on Kendall's uncomfortable bed. He groaned quietly as he sat up on the bed. His hand went to clasp his lower back due to the pain caused by the action. He closed his eyes forcefully and hissed until he was ready to stand up. After a few minutes, his eyes reopened and he was looking at Logan's still form on his bed. The brunet's face was pale and tear stains ran down his face. His chest was slowly rising and falling. Even in sleep, Carlos could tell that Logan couldn't relax. The Hispanic boy sighed dejectedly and stood up slowly, ignoring the pain still radiating from his back, then walked out of the room.

Carlos gently closed the door behind him and headed towards the kitchen in search for food. As expected, the Latino was the only one awake in the house. Usually, mama Knight wouldn't let them sleep so late, but she and Katie left about a week ago to visit some friends in Minnesota. They wouldn't be back for another couple of days. Carlos shuddered at the thought. Another two days before this whole situation could be resolved by Ms. Knight's calm, yet firm, personality. The short young man walked over to the fridge and got out a box of microwave corndogs. He ripped open the package and placed several of the carnival associated snacks onto a plate before popping the dish into the microwave and setting the timer.

"What's for breakfast?" James yawned from behind Carlos as he exited his and Carlos' shared room. Carlos practically jumped out of his shoes at the sudden break of silence and glared at the tall brunet. James grinned and rubbed the back of his neck as he gave the other an apologetic look.

"Sorry. So yea, what's for breakfast?" the teen asked again as he neared Carlos. Carlos rolled his eyes annoyed as he turned back to the heating corndogs in the microwave.

"I don't know what _you're _having for breakfast, but _I'm_ having myself a nice, balanced, nutritious meal consisting of a mountain of corn dogs," the Hispanic said with a soft smile as his mouth began to water slightly. This time, it was James' turn to roll his eyes as he waited for the shorter teen to come back to his senses.

"Aw…but I want waffles…" the brunet whined. Carlos glared at him annoyed.

"Then go make yourself some waffles." James stomped his feet childishly as he produced a sound between a groan and a whimper.

"But I like how you make them!" he supplied pathetically.

"Well then that's too bad isn't it?"

"Please Carlos." Carlos only crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly. James huffed and gave the Hispanic the best pout he could manage.

"Please Carlitos…" the brunet attempted to say in the smallest voice he could manage. Carlos uncrossed his arms as he sighed deeply.

"Fine."

"Yes!" James yelled excitedly as he thrust his fist into the air victoriously. He smiled widely at the Latino as he slightly jumped up and down excitedly. This of course made Carlos chuckle as he went to the fridge to get some ingredients out for the waffles. James sat on the kitchen counter net to the oven as he watched Carlos walk around collecting everything. He was quiet for a second before he looked up to Carlos again with a serious face. The Latino had his back towards the brunet as he began combining some of the ingredients into a huge bowl.

"Carlos..." the brunet trailed off as he looked at the back of the Latino's head with uneasiness. The tall teen's tone of voice alarmed Carlos as he stopped his stirring and turned around to look at James with worried eyes.

"What's up?" he asked as neared James on the counter. The brunet chose not to meet the other's gaze as he looked down to the floor.

"I'm really worried about Kendall and Logan." He mumbled. Carlos sighed as his expression turned solemn. He nodded his head in understanding as he turned back around to work on the waffles. James looked back up as he waited for the other's response.

"Me too James. I mean, I just never thought this would happen. Those two were inseparable. Hell, I was beginning to suspect they were making plant to elope," Carlos chuckled lightly at what he said as James giggled at the idea. It wasn't very farfetched considering the way those two acted. They were suddenly distracted however, by the sound of someone's door opening followed by a loud yawn. Both Carlos and James turned their attention to the other side of the kitchen as they waited to see who it was that had just woken up.

Walking down the hall and arriving at the kitchen was Logan. The brunet was wearing the same clothes from yesterday that he had slept in overnight. His tight black jeans were riding up his left leg slightly and his equally as tight black t-shirt was extremely wrinkled. His usually neatly spiked, brown-almost black hair was disheveled and was covered his eyes a bit. Overall, the teen looked like a hot mess.

Carlos and Logan exchanged glances as Logan walked over to the dining table and plopped himself down on one of the seats. He crossed his shoulders over the table and laid his head over them unceremoniously. The other two in the room watched silently as they waited for Logan to make a move. After a couple minutes, it was obvious that the young genius wasn't going to do anything anytime soon, so Carlos went back to making the waffles while James just shrugged as he kicked his dangling feet.

"So how did you sleep Logan?" James asked experimentally as he looked at Logan from the corner of his eye.

"Fine," came the muffled response from the other teen. Carlos couldn't help but scoff at the obvious lie. Logan lifted his head at the sound and looked at the distracted Latino with a curious look.

"Yes? Is there something you want to say?" Logan asked with a hint of sting in his words. Carlos rolled his eyes as he put down the waffle iron he had in his hands and turned around to face the brunet.

"Yes actually. You and I _both_ know that that's a damn lie. You cried for hours last night before you finally went to sleep." The Latino stated as he pointed an accusing finger at the other. Logan's eyes widened in surprise before they narrowed dangerously at the short teen. James however, stood back and watched from the sidelines interestedly. Carlos and Logan were known for their petty arguments, and everyone knew just how entertaining they could get.

"Well I don't see how it's any of _your _business how long I take to go to sleep. I didn't invite you over to my room! You just came!" he yelled as he stood up, leaning across the table, glaring at Carlos. Carlos in turn speed walked over to the other side of the table and mimicked Logan's action, their faces only inches apart.

"Well I try to make it my business when my best friend is sobbing uncontrollably because of something that happened between him and my other best friend," the Latino yelled back in Logan's face. His voice sounded harsh despite the lack of venom in the meaning of his reply.

Logan's face softened as he turned his head to the side. He involuntarily flinched at Kendall's name, but tried to pull it off as If nothing had happened. However, Carlos didn't miss the strange action and sighed dejectedly as he looked down at his hands on the table.

"I'm sorry," he said in a small voice. Logan looked back up at Carlos with a quizzical look.

"Huh? What do _you_ have to be sorry about?"

"I was being an asshole. I didn't mean to get snappy at you. I'm just cranky 'cause I barely got any sleep." Logan felt a pang of guilt hit him the confession.

"Carlos, it's not your fault. I was the one who yelled first. And it's my fault you didn't get any sleep."

"Nah…you may have yelled first, but that didn't make it right for me to yell back. Plus, it's not your fault Kendall's too much of an uptight asshole to get a softer bed," Carlos said chuckling, attempting to lighten the mood. Again, Carlos didn't miss a beat as Logan flinched once more at the mention of their blond friend.

"Logan, what happened between you and Kendall?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"You seriously can't expect me to believe that…"

"Look Carlos! Just leave it alright?" the genius begged. Carlos crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly as he stared the brunet down.

"Not until you tell what happened."

"Nothing happened!" Carlos was about to yell back, completely forgetting the conversation he had just had with Logan, when James finally stepped in and interrupted the Hispanic.

"Logan, me and Carlos are just worried about you and Kendall. And don't say that nothing's wrong, because something obviously _is_ wrong. When we came home yesterday, we saw Kendall just crying on the floor with all the lights turned off. He told us you broke up with him. We all know that you and Kendall love each other, so something big must've happened, and we aren't leaving until you tell us what," the tall teen finished all at once without taking a break to breathe. Carlos nodded his head as they both gave Logan concerned expressions. The young genius had his head bowed down as he tightened his fists, knuckles turning white due to the force.

They all remained quiet for a long minute, each afraid of what would happen if the silence were to suddenly be broken. After a while longer, a sniffle was heard from Logan. James and Carlos' eyes widened in shock as they just noticed the other's trembling shoulders. They both ran up to him and Carlos put his arms around the brunet comfortingly as he cried into his shoulder. His sobs were quiet and shaky. The slightly taller teen was obviously trying to hold back his cries. Carlos just held Logan tightly, a repeat of the events that occurred last night, as he looked up at James sadly. The tall brunet, not being as familiar or comfortable with feelings as Carlos was, just rubbed Logan's back soothingly, trying to calm him down.

A couple minutes passed before Logan finally calmed down enough to hold back his sobs. Regardless, a steady stream of tears continued to fall down his face as he pulled back from the embrace and, once again, looked down at his shoes timidly.

"I a-asked him if he w-wanted to go out on a d-date with me, like we used to. We haven't hung out in a long t-time. He never wants to be with m-me. W-when I asked, he just told me he c-couldn't because he had to go to the studio and meet up with Gustavo," the brunet failed to keep from stuttering, a habit that he had outgrown years ago, but occasionally came back when the teen was over emotional. James turned his head in confusion at what Logan had said as he tried to figure out why Logan would be mad at him for something like that.

"That's not such a big deal. I'm sure you and Kendall can go out some-,"

"I'm not d-done," Logan whimpered quietly. James immediately shut up and nodded for him to continue. Logan wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve before taking a deep breath and continuing with his explanation.

"I w-wasn't mad at him, even if we h-haven't spent any time together in w-weeks. I told him it was okay and he left. After he was g-gone, I went to the mall to go shopping. I was going to g-get a bite to eat, but I f-freaked because I saw K-Kendall eating lunch with Jo!"

Carlos and James both stared at Logan shocked as he broke down into a fit of shaky sobs. They just stared at the trembling brunet as he wrapped his arms around himself. Neither of them could believe the word that had come out of Logan's lips. Kendall? With Jo? Kendall would never be capable of such a thing! Yet…they had both noticed how the blond had been seemingly avoiding his boyfriend all the time. Even when they were hanging out with the blond and Logan just wanted to tag along, Kendall would always reply before they could, giving an excuse to not have Logan go. Suddenly, they were both stirred from their thoughts by the sound of a familiar voice in front of the. Logan's shoulders tensed at the sound of the voice coming from behind him as he looked up with teary, panicked eyes.

"Logan?"

**Yay! Haha...I kinda liked this chapter...I don't know. I'm a sucker for an emotionally unstable Logan. I hope you guys liked it. There will be more soon! HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY CheekyBrunnette! Please review. I know there are a lot of you reading this, but you're not reviewing.**

**-Gohanrules out!**


	3. Unspoken Truths

**Author's Note:** Yes, yes. Believe it or not, I am _finally_ posting chapter three. And let me just apologize for it being so late. I really would have had this up way sooner if it wasn't for the fact that I'm having…technical difficulties. But something good _did _come from this being so late. My overdeveloped conscience was overflowing with guilt, and I ended up writing several other one-shots. Some Cargans and Kogans. One of the Cargan stories is extremely angsty, and two other stories are just plain fluff. You guys should definitely read those too and tell me what you think. I had a lot of fun writing them and this chapter here. I'm pretty happy about how they all turned out. Well…enough shameless advertising…enjoy!

**Warning:** Language, M/M relationship, and most likely some adult content in future chapters.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Big Time Rush.

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><p><em>Logan's shoulders tensed at the sound of the voice coming from behind him as he looked up with teary, panicked eyes.<em>

"_Logan?"_

Logan hastily wiped away any traces of tears from his face as his face instantly shifted into a scowl. His eyes narrowed dangerously as he stared at Kendall with a look of disgust.

"What do _you_ want?" he asked bitingly.

Kendall didn't even attempt to hold back the flinch. He ran a shaky hand through his messy, blond hair and released a shaky breath. He couldn't cry. Not right now. Right now he had to talk to Logan. With that in mind, the tall teen took a step closer as he attempted to meet the other's harsh gaze.

"Logan, please, we have to talk."

"There's nothing else to talk about. You already told me everything you wanted me to hear, remember?"

"Logan, I already told you, it's not what you think. Please, you have to believe me."

"Why should I believe you? All you've been doing lately is lie to me," Logan was now starting to shake slightly as his emotions began overflowing. He jumped slightly when he felt a soft touch on his shoulder. He looked down to see a caramel toned hand and instantly knew it was Carlos attempting to comfort him. Comfort him from the pain that Kendall caused him. The brunet shrugged the warm hand off of him and continued on to glare at his _ex_-boyfriend.

"I…I'm…I'm sorry," was all Kendall said as tears began to slowly roll down his face. He was losing Logan. He was slipping right through Kendall's fingers, and there wasn't a single thing he could do. It all felt like a nightmare. The blond was hoping for someone to start growing wings or for Carlos to suddenly declare his deep hate for corndogs. Anything to signal that this wasn't real and he'd wake up soon. Kendall wanted nothing more than to find himself slipping back into consciousness with his arms around a sleeping Logan. But he knew better.

"That's all you can say isn't it?" Logan's voice cut through the air sharply. Kendall remained quiet as he looked to the side. Logan released a dry, humorless chuckle.

"Yea, that's what I thought. Please, can you at least tell me one thing? Just this one, simple thing? What changed? Did I do something wrong?" His voice was small and broken as he spoke. The fatigue was just dripping from his words, but he needed to know this one piece of information. Yet, no answer came. He didn't expect it to. Logan sighed as he wordlessly walked to the door of the apartment and slammed it shut. All three people in the kitchen looked in the direction the brunet had just left, their eyes wide and mouths gaping. Carlos was the first to recover as he snapped his head forward angrily.

"You…," he growled accusingly.

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><p>Logan sprinted down the stairs as tears shamelessly leaked from both of his eyes. He didn't register anything around him as he ran through the lobby. He didn't hear or care that Mr. Bitters was yelling at him to shut up. He didn't notice when he left Guitar dude with his hand hanging out for a high five when he ran right past him. Logan didn't even care when he accidently pushed one of the Jennifers into the cold water of the pool. The brunet ran and ran, never looking back or thinking about where he was going.<p>

After Logan's legs felt like they were about to catch fire was when the short teen noticed where he was. The street seemed familiar, and the brunet was surprised by how far he'd carried himself with his own two feet. He came to a decision of where he wanted to go as he calmly walked down the sidewalk. He had stopped crying by now, but he couldn't get rid of the cold, empty feeling he was experiencing. A million questions and insecurities were running though his head. What did he do? How could Kendall do this to him? Didn't he love him? Did he ever love him?

The teen flinched slightly at that last question. The very thought that Kendall never loved him was just too much to handle. All the subtle glances, feathery touches, gentle kisses…could they have been a lie this whole time? Were they just empty, meaningless actions? Logan was interrupted from his thoughts as he finally reached his destination. He stood in front of a small, colorful shop with two big clear windows on each side of the entrance. The brunet looked up at the sign above the door that read "I Scream". A small smile graced his lips as he was hit by a wave of nostalgia. He and Kendall used to come here all the time before the blond acquired a need to be away from him. A pang of hurt surged through his chest as he thought about the blond.

"Why did I come here?" he mumbled to himself. He was just about to turn and leave, when he heard a soft feminine voice behind him.

"Logan?"

Logan turned around to see an excited Camille smiling at him. He tried his hardest to manage a polite smile as he waved at the brunette girl.

"Hey Camille, what are you doing here?" he asked for the sake of not being rude. The girl shrugged as he came forward and gave him a tight hug, which he unenthusiastically returned. She pulled back and gave him a cheeky smile.

"I always come here. They have the best chocolate chip cookie dough."

"Oh…cool…," Logan replied uninterestedly. Camille raised an eyebrow as she studied Logan's face.

"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly. Logan sighed as he looked away from her concerned expression.

"Me and Kendall broke up," he stated simply. The brunette gasped dramatically as she pulled Logan in for another tight hug.

"Oh my gosh! You poor thing! Are you alright?"

"Yea…"

"Here, let's talk about it over some ice cream."

"I don't know Camille, I should really be g-," he was silenced as the girl roughly pulled him into the store and dragged him over to the front counter. One they got their ice cream, they took their seats at a table by the window. Logan stared down at his small cup of fudge brownie ice cream with his hands in his lap as Camille licked away at her large orange sherbet cone.

"So Logan" she said right before taking another lick at the cold treat. ", tell me; what exactly happened between you and," another lick, "Kendall?"

* * *

><p>"Carlos, calm down. Maybe Kendall has-, "<p>

"Shut up James!" Carlos shouted over his shoulder, effectively quieting the tall brunet up. Carlos directed his glare back at Kendall as he pointed an accusing finger at the quiet blond.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Kendall opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced by another yell from the angry Hispanic in front of him.

"Don't answer that!"

"Dude, stop yelling. We can ju-, "

"I said shut up James!" Once again, the tan teen shut his mouth as he backed away a few steps and gave Kendall an apologetic smile.

"How could you do that to Logan? I've been quiet the past few weeks, but even I've notice how you've been treating him like shit!"

Kendall's shoulders shook as he silently began to sob. James frowned at the display in front of him. Carlos was going too far. James was just as mad as Kendall as Carlos was, but it was obvious that their blond leader was hurting just as much as Logan. But that didn't stop Carlos.

"I can't believe you'd do this to him. He loves you so much! He's the best thing that ever happened to you! I really thought you loved him back, but it's pretty obvious you've been using him this whole time."

Kendall's head snapped up and angry brown eyes met furious green ones. In an instant, the blond crossed the distance separating him and the Latino and he glared down at him menacingly.

"Don't you dare fucking say that! I love him more than anything! I'll always love him, no matter what! You don't have the right to say I don't! No one does!"

"Then why the fuck did you cheat on him?"

"I didn't cheat on him! Stop saying that!"

"I'll stop saying it when you stop lying to my face."

James was getting scared. His two friends looked like they were about to get physical. He couldn't let that happen. He began to cautiously approach the two with his hands up in defense.

"Guys, stop it. You two are getting out of hand," he supplied. He reached the two and put a hand on both of their shoulders in what he hoped was a relaxing gesture, but was proven wrong when the two pushed him back harshly and his lower back collided with the marble counter. He groaned in pain as he clutched the area, but the other two didn't seem to notice as they continued glaring at each other. Kendall bent down so that his face was inches away from Carlos.

"Get it through your thick skull. I…didn't…cheat…on…L-," he was interrupted as Carlos swiftly brought his fist back and punched the blonde's face. Kendall fell back and landed on the floor as he clutched his nose in pure agony. James' eyes were wide as saucers as he ignored the pain in his back and ran over to where Kendall was rolling on the floor groaning. Carlos just smiled down at his former friend with a smug look of satisfaction on his face.

"Kendall! Kendall! Let me see! Stop moving!" James yelled as he attempted to calm down the blond enough so that he could inspect the damage. He forced the other teen's hands away from his face and paled at the sight. A steady stream of blood was flowing from the teen's nose as it bent at a strange angle. James ignored his hemophobia as he pulled Kendall up to stand.

"Oh my god, he broke your nose. Kendall, we have to go to the hospital. I don't know what else to do. Ugh, where the heck is Logan when you need him? He'd know what to do."

* * *

><p>"I don't know what to do! He won't tell me what I did wrong," Logan whispered as a small drop of moisture escaped his eye. He sniffled as he dried his cheek and looked down at his melted cup of chocolate ice cream. Camille sighed as she checked her nails over for any slight chips.<p>

"Don't worry about it Logan. He's an asshole. I knew you'd brake up with him sooner or later. Heck, I bet you'll be thanking him for cheating on you by next week. It'll be the best decision of your life," she offered as she kept her gaze down at her hands. Logan sighed as he nodded his head. He pushed away from the table and stood up.

"Yea…thanks…"

"Don't worry about it. That's what I'm here for," the brunette said as she stood up and followed Logan out the store. He quickened his pace and began walking away from her, but she jogged up to him and took hold of his hand.

"C'mon Logan. I'll give you a ride back home."

The short teenager nodded his head and mumbled a "thanks" as he followed her back to her car.

* * *

><p>"Carlos, call Logan and tell him we need him here so that he can drive us to the hospital," James demanded. Carlos huffed as he crossed his arms.<p>

"I'm not doing anything that'll help _him_." James rolled his eyes and scowled.

"I'm not kidding anymore. Just do it!"

"No!"

"Fine! I'll call him myself!"

The tall teen pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, but before he could dial the number, a soft knock was heard at the door.

"Is answering the door on your extremely short list of things you can do to actually make yourself useful?"

"Yep!" the Latino supplied with a large smile as he practically skipped to the door. James rolled his eyes, annoyed at his friend's antics, as he grabbed a napkin from the dining table and handed it to Kendall. He wordlessly took it and used it to slow the flow of blood coming from his nose.

Carlos reached the door and turned the lock. Without asking or checking who it was, he slammed the door open with a huge smile on his face, ready to greet whomever was on the other side. The smile was dropped immediately when his eyes landed on the last person he wanted to see at that moment.

"Why are _you_ here?" he questioned impatiently.

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><p><strong>Yay! I don't mean to toot my own horn, but…*toots horn*. Lol. Sorry, I just really liked this chapter. So fun to write and I think it turned out pretty good. Some of you might be starting to lovehate some characters right now, but I'm pretty sure your opinions won't stay the same throughout the whole thing. I like to mess with your heads. *insert manipulative ways* Well, I hope you like this as much as I obviously did. If you did or didn't (jerk!), let me know in a review please. They really do make my day every time I read one, and trust me, I need them! So yea…input good!**

**-Gohanrules out!**


	4. Unwanted Hope

**Author's Note: **Damn! Finally! Yes! This is _definitely _the part where I jump up in celebration. I'm so sorry you guys had to wait so long for this chapter. I've been busy with a few of my other stories, and this chapter was just really hard to write for some reason. Because of that, I don't really think this chapter came out so good. It may just be my hate for it though, so…you decide. Before you start, I just want to tell you guys about my friend GleeShadow. She's an amazing author, and if any of you guys like Glee fics, I strongly recommend you read her's. She's new but amazing. I love you girl! :D

**Warnings: **Language, male/male, and most likely some adult content in future chapters.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Big Time Rush.

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><p><em>Carlos reached the door and turned the lock. Without asking or checking who it was, he slammed the door open with a huge smile on his face, ready to greet whomever was on the other side. The smile was dropped immediately when his eyes landed on the last person he wanted to see at that moment.<em>

"_Why are you here?" he questioned impatiently._

"Oh, hey Carlos! How are you? I feel like we haven't seen each other since fore-," Jo started enthusiastically, but was interrupted by the fuming Latino that answered the door.

"I said '_why are you here?'_" he repeated rudely. The blond girl's cheerful expression dropped as she frowned confusedly. Her mouth opened as if to say something, but she closed it with an audible _clack _as she re-shut it quickly. An awkward silence remained between the two as Carlos continued staring daggers at the girl avoiding his gaze. Jo looked down to see several bags on the ground around her feet, and she was suddenly reminded exactly why she was here in the first place. She looked back up at Carlos and offered a sheepish smile.

"Um…Logan sort of… left these at the mall yesterday…," she said as she rubbed her arm nervously. The short teen opened his mouth to speak, but was pushed to the side harshly by a panicking James. The tall brunet's eyes widened in surprise at the sight of the girl at the door. His brown irises then narrowed dangerously, but then once again shifted to match his expression of relief.

"Jo! Oh my god, I'm so happy you're here!"

"Really? Because for some reason, Carlos didn't really seem to-"

"Don't mind that! You just got your license right?"

"Um…yea, a couple of weeks ago. Why?"

"Carlos broke Kendall's nose, and we need a ride to the hospital. Can you drive us?"

"What? Oh my god is he okay?" she asked as she pushed James to the side and barged through the door. Carlos made a move to jump her, but was held back by an annoyed and frustrated tall brunet. As soon as the blond girl laid eyes on the sandy-haired teen, which was now standing, with a river of sticky, red blood dripping from his nose, her face paled in worry. She ran up to Kendall and immediately began asking him a bunch of questions. They spoke in whispered murmurs. James and Carlos strained to hear what they were saying, but couldn't detect a hint of anything understandable.

"Why is _she _taking us?" Carlos asked James as he glared at the sole female in the apartment. James looked down at his friend with sorry eyes. After all, Carlos was only defending Logan. Albeit he _was_ getting a little too violent in the process, but still. James wanted the same thing as Carlos: for this whole mess to be dealt with.

"Look, Carlos. I know you're pissed off at Kendall and Jo right now, but kicking Kendall's ass isn't going to make Logan feel any better," the handsome tall teenager spoke. Carlos stubbornly crossed his arms and pouted. James couldn't help but be amazed by how the other could go from looking about ready to kill someone to looking like a little kid who got their favorite game taken away.

"It'll make _me _feel better," Carlos mumbled. James rolled his eyes, but a small smile appeared on his face.

"You're not the one who needs to feel better."

Carlos seemed to deflate at the comment, but reluctantly nodded. They were distracted from their conversation as Jo ran towards them, pulling Kendall by his hand. The contact didn't go unnoticed by the other two, but they decided to keep their mouths shut.

"Alright, let's go," she said hurriedly as she once again pushed the two out of the way and ran out of the apartment. James squeezed Carlos' shoulder in reassurance before following the two blonds out of the apartment. The Latino sighed before grabbing the keys off the table and reluctantly stepping out himself.

* * *

><p>"Okay, here we are," Camille exclaimed with a wide smile as she parked the car and removed the keys from the ignition.<p>

"Okay, thanks Camille, bye!" Logan shouted over his shoulder as he jumped out of the car and began quickly making his way across the parking lot and to the front entrance of the hotel. His gait was immense as he desperately attempted to reach the pseudo safety of 2J. He just hoped Kendall was off somewhere else. A surge of sorrow shot through his chest at that that thought. What if Kendall was off with _her_?

"Logan! Logan, wait! Wait for me Logan!"

The smart boy reluctantly halted his movements. He was mere feet away from the entrance, so lose he could just reach out and feel the warm glass under his fingertips. He stifled the sigh bubbling in his throat as Camille caught up to him.

"Slow down Logan. I just wanted to ask you if maybe you wanted to hang out or something?" the brunette questioned with a flirty smile. Logan's brown eyes instantly widened and his jaw dropped considerably. She couldn't, could she? Sure he and Kendall were _technically _broken up, but he just finished pouring his heart out to her about the delicate situation just ten minutes ago. His mouth was closing and opening back up again repeatedly as he searched for the right words to say.

"Y-you, w-what do you mean?" he stuttered. The girl in front of him grinned devilishly as she stepped forward and placed her freshly manicured hand on his chest.

"C'mon Logan, you're smarter than that. Now that Kendall's out of the picture, we can finally give _us _another chance," she whispered.

Logan had to hold back the small gag he felt for manners sake. Sure he and Camille had a sort-of-kinda-not-really thing, but that was a long time ago, and that was before he discovered his feelings for Kendall. Besides, after a _lot _of soul searching, Logan had figured out he was as gay as they came. Just the thought of him and Camille being together in a romantic sense was enough to make him feel queasy. The young man was about to shrug Camille off of him, but was distracted by the sound of the door of the entrance slamming against the wall loudly. The two brunets turned their attention to see Jo and Kendall staring at them.

The first thing Logan noticed was the way their hands were clasped together. He bit his lip, trying to hold back his pathetic whimpers. However, the second thing he noticed was the continuous flow of blood dripping out of Kendall's nose and soaking his shirt. Logan unceremoniously pushed Camille off of him and rushed to Kendall's side.

"Oh my god! Kendall what the hell happened to you? Are you alright?"

Logan's worry was temporarily clouding his judgment. Kendall easily noticed this, but chose to stay silent about it. Instead, a smile appeared on his face as Logan gently grabbed his chin and began tilting his head to determine the damage.

"I'm okay Logie…now that you're here," the blond whispered sincerely. Logan visibly tensed, but nodded his head as he kept his eyes on his _ex_-boyfriend's bloodied nose. Jo smiled at the couple and stepped back to give them their own space. Camille was still impatiently standing behind Logan as she glared at Kendall. The tall teen looked away from Logan for a moment and glanced over the brunet's shoulder. His eyes instantly narrowed and he bit his tongue to hold back the insult that was on the tip of it. He was pulled out of his hateful staring by a stinging pain running down the bridge of his nose.

"Ow!" he yelled as his eyes crossed just in time to see Logan pulling back his index finger with a sheepish grin. Kendall pouted at the shorter teen, but he couldn't resist the smile he felt coming.

"It's broken."

Kendall rolled his eyes.

"Duh."

Logan shot him a halfhearted glare. It was nothing in comparison to the ones Kendall had received since yesterday, and he welcomed the unfamiliar playfulness of it.

"Well…"

"Well…," Kendall teased with a grin. He was immensely enjoying the short amount of Logan time he was getting. This time it was Logan's turn to roll his eyes.

"Well…how did this happen?"

"Why aren't you guys starting the-," James silenced himself as he noticed the small crowd of four at the front of the building. His eyes landed on Logan and Kendall. He raised an eyebrow at them but remained quiet.

"Oomph!"

"Aah!" James yelled as Carlos bumped into his back by accident. The brunet doubled over in pain as he clutched his lower back. The Latino muttered a chorus of apologies as he shifted from foot to foot with a guilty expression. James attempted a small smile up at his friend as he straightened up slowly. That's when Carlos noticed what James had seen a minute ago. He opened his mouth, but closed it back up. He turned to Jo and was even more surprised to see her practically gushing at the pair. The next to gain the Latino's attention was Camille. He wasn't stupid. He also wasn't surprised when he noticed the glare she was shooting Kendall. Despite the fact that Carlos was the one responsible for Kendall's…_condition_, he didn't like the way the brunette was looking at his friend.

"Um…guys…I don't mean to ruin this awkward moment, but shouldn't Kendall be going to a hospital or something?" Jo broke through the silence. Everyone turned to her with a blank expression. After another moment of silence, James was the one to get back his senses.

"Okay, let's go. We're still taking Jo's car."

Logan stepped away from Kendall and looked down sadly at the floor. Kendall sighed. There went the moment. He opened his mouth to speak, but was pulled away towards the car by James.

"Not right now. It's not the time," the towering brunet muttered.

Carlos placed his hand on Logan shoulder, making the other jump in surprise.

"Come on, you're coming too," the tan teen said before walking away too. Logan remained still for a moment. He seemed to have been contemplating what to do. It only took him a few seconds to finally decide. He turned on his heel and ran after the others.

"Bye Camille! Thanks for the ride!" he yelled over his shoulder, leaving the fuming girl by herself.

* * *

><p>The car ride was awkward and lengthy. Jo was driving and James had called shot gun. That left Kendall, Logan, and Carlos to squeeze into the back. Kendall was seated behind Jo and Carlos behind James, leaving Logan right between them. No one spoke the whole time. Each of them could feel the tense air surrounding them. Due to the lack of space available, the three in the back sat with their legs touching. On a normal occasion, this wouldn't have been a problem at all, but due to the current events, it was the only thing Logan could think about. He found Kendall's contact to be bittersweet. He had longed for the other's touch for so long. When the car ride first began, he caught himself practically melting into the blond's touch. However, as soon as he <em>did <em>catch himself, he pulled his leg away quickly as if the gentle touch had burned him. In a way, it did. It hurt Logan. He knew it wasn't the same as before. Kendall was his _ex_-boyfriend. He couldn't allow himself to be filled with false hope of him and Kendall getting back together. Not after what the blond did to him.

After that realization, Logan had subtly scooted away from Kendall. Neither the blond nor the Latino on the other side of him seemed to notice. After another minute of silence after that, Logan looked down to see Kendall's leg was once again brushed up against his. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he waved it off. He once again scooted a little bit closer to Carlos, this time earning a monosyllabical grunt from the shorter. He chose to ignore it and instead looked forward at the road. He determined that they were about ten minutes away from the hospital. That's when he caught it. The minute movement. He looked back down, and sure enough, Kendall's leg was touching his again. The brunet's eyes narrowed in suspicion and he looked up at Kendall. The blond's face was impassive as he stared out the window, pressing a few tissues to his nose. Logan pulled away another inch or so, pretending to not notice Carlos' shoulder rubbing warningly against his back. His eyes remained on Kendall's face. Just as he was about to turn away, he felt something hit his knee softly. He didn't have to look to know it was once again the blond's sneaky attempts.

"Stop," Logan whispered as quietly as he could.

"What?" Carlos asked, not quite catching what his friend had said. Logan turned and shook his head.

"Nothing."

He turned back to Kendall to see he was wearing his famous grin. This time, Logan grabbed the other's leg and pushed it away forcefully. Kendall's grin immediately fell and was replaced with a dejected frown. Logan smiled to himself and returned to his semi comfortable position. Carlos mumbled something to himself and rolled his eyes.

Logan was finally able to relax. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply as he leaned back further into his seat.

"I'm going to turn on the air. It's kind of stuffy in here," Jo's voice cut through the still air. Logan's muscles tensed. He had completely forgotten the blonde was present. He mentally face-palmed at the realization that he was currently in her car. A shiver ran through his spine as he felt an arctic blast of air on his neck. He instinctively tilted his head to the side and rested it on his shoulder to block the air conditioner's attack. There was a slight shuffle next him before he felt a tickle on his forehead and a light weight on the top of his head. The brunet's eyes shot open and he had to fight himself not to flinch. Instead, he gently pushed Kendall off of him and lifted his head. He avoided eye contact with the other as he turned away from, completely shutting him out. Carlos' head snapped towards Logan. His eyes were angry, and he was about to snap at the brunet for fidgeting so much, but his face softened when he noticed the pale boy's teary eyes. He looked past Logan to see Kendall looking out the window with a similar expression.

Carlos slowly turned back around, grumbling something about an episode of Degrassi to himself in annoyance.

"What?" James asked as he looked up at the rearview mirror.

"Nothing!"

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><p><strong>I'm so sorry if that sucked! If it did, I think it's because I had to get back into the flow of things. Don't worry, chapters will come quick from now on. If you guys want to keep in touch and know when and what I'm postingupdating, you can follow me on Twitter. I'm "Gohanrules1". That way you'll always know when I update, and you can even reprimand me for taking so long. So anyway, thanks for reading. Please review. This story actually has a lot of hits, but barely any reviews…lazy bums…lol jk. **

**P.S.-Gah! I'm so excited! My birthday is tomorrow! Whoo!**

**-Gohanrules out! **


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